24 December 2009

I love you, lappy <3<3<3

My laptop! It hath returned! Lo! Indeed, 'tis from whence this blog ist being writteneth, forsooth!

My fluency in Middle English - it's impressive, no?

It happened at 9:00am, when the doorbell awoke me from an ever-so-peaceful slumber in which I was dreaming about canoeing in a sea full of jello with a giant q-tip as a paddle, as one does. The sleep-lover in me was going to ignore the doorbell and stay hidden under the covers, but somehow through my hazy state of mind, I suddenly realized what that doorbell probably meant - *cue horn fanfare* - My laptop cometh!

So I took out my retainer, slapped my glasses on my face, and ran to the door in my sexy, sexy pajamas*.

I looked like this:

(I'm 25% Swedish, and that quarter is found entirely in those Nordic viking arms of mine)

I opened the door, and this (I swear to God) is how the conversation with the young FedEx guy went:

Me: (yawning and rubbing my gooey eyes) Uhhhhello.

FedEx Guy: (picking up on the obvious fact that I'd been awake for all of 3 seconds) 'Morning sleepy.

Me: Hah, I was about to ignore you and stay in bed, but then I thought, 'Wait! - (and here I subconsciously did some sort of over-excited jazz hands thing) - It's my laptop!'

FG: You were gonna ignore me? But I'm hot*!

Me: I know! Glad I came! Plus, you would have missed this! (at which point I made a sweeping gesture with my hand from my head downwards, as if I was Vanna White presenting my body like a Brand! New! Car!)

FG: Mmhmm, no makeup, in your pajamas....lookin' good.

Me: Oh, I walk down the runway like this all the time.

FG: Haha well, - (losing the sarcasm) - your hair looks kinda nice**.

Me: Really? Well, that's good to know.

FG: So you own this place yourself?

Me: No, it's me and my mom.

And, of course, it all went downhill from there, because while I can apparently pull off the 'morning look' quite well, being 23 and living with your mother looks good on NO ONE. But I was able to redeem myself when I said that I'm moving to Florida in 26 days, that it was, like, totally time to move out of here, that my mom was, like, sooo driving me crazy OMGFOREALZ (which isn't really all that true, but you know....trying to look cool and all for the random FedEx guy who I'll never see again).

But that story, for me, is completely overshadowed by the mere fact that I HAVE MY LAPTOP BACK. Oh, all is right in the world again. And guess what? It arrived the day before we leave for Tennessee for three days where THERE IS NO INTERNET! YAY! Timing=PERFECT! (Yes we're traveling Christmas morning. We'll have the actual celebration the day after).

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you and yours.

*This was true

**This was not true. See above picture.

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