Will need to change header from "tens" to "dozens!"

I don't know what happened yesterday - I didn't update, I didn't go pimp plug myself a million different places, I didn't do ANYTHING to bring attention to this here blog, yet somehow this happened:

(The attention was obviously short-lived, unfortunately)

I'm not telling you my page view numbers specifically, mostly because I don't want to brag about how awesomely high my readership is embarrass myself with my five hits a day (four of which are probably me)(and oh wait, I just admitted it anyway, lookythere), but I'll tell you that I had a(n approximately)* 281.25% increase in hits from the average day. That's right - a TRIPLE DIGIT INCREASE. And no idea why. My blog hasn't had such a spike in views since that one time I posted on a somewhat popular political-ish blog a quick and innocent comment about my virginity. And how I still had it.

By the way, nice to meet you, New Reader(s). Sometimes I share fun tidbits about myself.

*It's like I went all E.E. Cummings there for a second.

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Quick story about how my karma was all out of whack at work today: I somehow managed to hang up on THREE people (IN A ROW!), I took 15 pictures (out of the 30 picture limit we're supposed to stay under) before I realized I didn't have one of the lights/flash umbrella things on (you can tell by my use technical terms how well trained I am) and all of the pictures were ruined, and I told someone that her 13-month- old daughter was beautiful. Except her daughter had a penis.

He later peed on me in his naked shoot.

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Skittles got her suchers taken out today, which was far worse on me than it was on her, what with having to hold her shaking-with-terror body down and look into those sad, puppy-dog eyes (literally, actually). I don't know if it actually hurt her or anything, but last time she was at the Vet, they took out some of her body parts and tucked other body parts back in then stuck her in a tiny cage all by her pathetic self, which I can only imagine was such a pleasant experience. But whatever, the REAL important part of the story here is that FINALLY, SKITTLES HAD A BATH. Praise the Lord, my dog is clean.

Taken post-bath, and isn't she so adorably pitiful? It's probably hard to tell with the picture being so blurry, but Imatellya it's harder than you think to take a picture with a right-handed camera in your left (and non-dominant!) hand while holding a small, shivering dog in your other.

(By the way, I feel like I've posted a lot of pictures of myself on here lately, so please let me say that it's not me being vain that I had to include me in the picture with my dog. I tried taking a picture of her after her bath, but this is how it turned out:


See her? DO YOU? That's because she's NOT THERE. Nope, when she's soaking wet and desperate to dry off, she's a regular speeding bullet, nothing but a blur as she runs from one room to another as though if only she could run fast enough, the water would eventually fall behind from, I dunno, exhaustion or poor diet or something. So by the time I press the button, she's already out of the frame. And that's why I hold her.)


Then there's this picture in which Skittles is the cutest sad thing I've ever seen (and her ears are HUGE! She looks like a chihuahua), but guuuuh who is that not-at-all-hot mess holding her? Blegh. I'm never gonna tilt my head into the 4th quadrant ever, EVER again. Too many chins, man. Too many chins. Looking down is so overrated anyway.

And because, you know, FEMALE INSECURITIES AND ALL, I'm not gonna end with that horrible picture of me. I just can't do it.

I'm gonna end with THIS horrible picture. Ha!