24 June 2009

[Imported] Predicting my impending therapy

So, during these last two weeks, I cleaned out my closet and the space underneath my bed, I ran a few times (and decided not to run even more times), I learned all the provinces and territories in Canada (I swear, in my 13 years of basic education, I never learned a single thing about that country beyond the whole fries and gravy thing - did they think that since it was the country above us that we'd just naturally pick up on its facts by genetics or osmosis or something?), I applied to about 10 jobs, and I staved off having a complete nervous breakdown.

Now, before you all start thinking that I'm just being overly dramatic with that last one, let me tell you a little something. I've got pretty good physical health genes on both sides of the family. Most of my great-grandparents lived well into their 90s, and one even made it to 104. We're not an immune bunch, no, but when illnesses strike, we tend to be rather resiliant. (Please allow me to take this moment to cross my fingers, knock on wood, spin around three times widdershins, throw salt over my shoulder, and kiss my blarney stone so as to ward off the jinxes I totally just put on myself and my entire family). Having said that, I also come from a long line of people whose mental health is the equivalent to a suicidal bowl of soup. There's all sorts of addictions, depressions, self-esteem issues, compulsive lying, sexual perversions, and that's just my dad. Hah hah hah, it's funny because I meant it as a punch line, but it still rings true! Oh, slap my knee!

Yeahanyway (one word, yes), the fact is it's only a matter of time before my brain simply breaks. I fully expect one day for it to physically snap in two and then make that "WAH-wah-waaahhh" sound at which point it then turns into liquid and leaks out my ears. And right now, my life is sort of at a stand still what with me being in between schools, in between jobs, in between friends, and in between boyfriends (the most perpetual of them all). I'm just not genetically predisposed to adequately deal with these "mini-failures," if you will, all lumped together at once. And of course the Disney thing completely blew up in my face, my dad got out of federal prison a few days ago, I think my life peaked in high school, I have no motivation whatsoever regarding school or a potential career, I have a terrible time falling asleep at night, and my foot is falling asleep dammit anyway! Plus, I think my left boob is slightly larger than my right, and what happens if I have twins some day and then one of them ends up starving because my smaller boob doesn't hold nearly enough milk?! Huh?! WHAT HAPPENS THEN?!


Yep, there it was folks. I'm gonna need a towel.

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